Your guy friend is sending you mixed signals. One day he’s calling you “Bro,” and the next day, he’s gently caressing your hair. What gives? Me (a guy) will break down the 35 revealing signs to look for to determine if he’s really interested in you.
Here are easy ways to tell if a guy is interested in you or just being friendly:
Table of Contents:
- You guys have intense sexual tension
- He acts differently around you
- You’re in his life a lot
- He happens to like EXACTLY the same things you do
- He’s always smiling around you
- He includes you in future plans
- He’s curious about your life
- He stares at your body
- You just know he likes you
- He wants to keep dates going longer
- He’ll support you
- His pupils dilate
- He teases you
- He tells you he likes you
- He says idiotic things
- He’s always well-groomed
- He makes eye contact with you
- He listens intently to every word you say
- He looks for opportunities to be alone with you
- He’ll do anything to make you happy
- He tries convincing you how good of a boyfriend he’d be
- He defends you
- He flirts with you
- He remembers every detail
- He mirrors your body language
- He asks you a lot of questions
- He wants to be your hero
- He always texts you first
- He compliments you a lot
- He doesn’t check his phone when you’re around
- He leans in when he talks to you
- He gets jealous
- You’re his highest priority
- He’s very private about his own love life
- He finds ways to touch you playfully
1. You guys have intense sexual tension
The banter between you two is dripping with sexual tension. Every single word you two exchange makes you more and more excited. You find yourself blushing more often around him and vice versa (which is actually our bodies imitating an orgasm).
Have you caught yourself daydreaming about sleeping with this guy? What it’d be like if you guys hooked up in his car outside the bar?
Nothing can mask your mutual attraction. This is how to tell if a guy is interested in you or just being friendly: sexual tension.
2. He acts differently around you
When a guy likes you, he’ll give off certain vibes. And you should be able to pick up on this behavior change easily.
Look for these signs that he’s developed feelings for you.
- He teases you a bit more.
- He focuses on you when you’re with a group of friends.
- He compliments you.
Guys simply can’t hide it when they’re attracted to you.
3. You’re in his life a lot
Is your guy friend going out of his way to invite you to things? Does he include you in his hobbies and interests?
If you find yourself constantly in his life, it’s for a reason. He’s making it happen. He doesn’t want to be away from you.
What happens when we have intense feelings (love) for someone? We want to be around them, to soak them up. Just being around someone you’re in love with is enough to brighten your day.
So your male friend being in your presence makes him feel AMAZING. So, of course, he’s going to move mountains to spend time with you.
This isn’t normal friend behavior. This guy wants more, and him being around more is a definite sign that he’s interested in you and not just being friendly.
4. He happens to like EXACTLY the same things you do
You REALLY like German Polka History. In fact, you majored in it in college. When you mention this to him, he says, “OMG, I LOVE German Polka History.”
You like peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches (editor’s note: if you do like this, I will pray for you because this is fucking disgusting), and when you offer to make him one for lunch, he hesitantly says,
“Umm, yes….I love…that…”
He’s trying to build rapport with you by liking the same things as you (even if he’s lying about it).
5. He’s always smiling around you
He’s got a stupid grin on his face, and you have no idea why (neither does he). He’s basking in your glory and has little to no control over how he expresses it. He literally loves everything you say.
When men smile in your presence for long periods of time, they’re showing you (instinctually) that they’re not a threat and that they’re attracted to you.
Now, this is also a sign of a beta male. So make sure you take into consideration all the other signs that a guy likes you. Men who aren’t necessarily attracted to you (and are often intimidated by you) will often smile to indicate their supplication.
6. He includes you in future plans
He’s spent days fantasizing about what the future will look like with you in his life. Your guy friend might say something along these lines:
- “Hey, we should take a road trip to Yosemite this summer. My friends and I have a cabin.”
- “I’m going to Costco this weekend to stock up for the 10th round of quarantine. You should come.”
These are just some examples of things he could say that is his way of including you in his plans. When a guy does this, he’s indicating to you (without realizing it) that he’s been thinking A LOT about you and how you’ll fit into his future life.
In summary, if your guy friend is future-tripping and you’re included in those trippings, he has definitely got feelings for you.
7. He’s curious about your life
He’s going to ask you a ton of questions. And he might ask questions that not even close friends or family would ask.
- “How’s your dad’s Etsy birdhouse business coming along?”
- “What’s the significance of that everything bagel tattoo on your neck?”
- “Which House do you think the Sorting Hat would put you in?”
Okay, those were horrible examples. But they should help illustrate the types of questions that a guy will ask you if he’s interested in being more than just a friend.
He wants to know EVERYTHING about you. He’s soaking you up like a sponge. He’s a little sexy clueless sponge. Pay attention to this type of behavior because it’s a big indicator that he has feelings for you.
8. He stares at your body
While making eye-contact is one of the biggest giveaways of attraction, and an even BIGGER sign of attraction is if he accidentally moves his eyes down a little lower.
Are you wearing that new, revealing top? Are you wearing your favorite pair of tight jeans that really accentuate your amazing butt? Are you wearing a bulletproof vest and a hideous macramé t-shirt?
If you catch him staring at you for a bit longer than usual, he likes you. There’s no other way to explain it.
BONUS: If you catch him “vamping” you (when he looks at you from top to bottom, quickly), this is a no-brainer that he’s attracted to you.
9. You just know he likes you
If you’re reading this blog post, then chances are you’ve got a strong gut feeling that this guy is more than friendly with you. Our instincts are powerful. They were given to us by the Universe, by God, to aid us in our paths here on Earth.
Trust those instincts.
Your body will pick up signs before you realize it. You’ll find yourself leaning in closer to him when he talks. You’ll find yourself blushing when he compliments you or says something funny.
Guys make it obvious when they have feelings for you. But sometimes you can’t pick up on them. That’s when you have you rely on your gut instincts.
10. He wants to keep dates going longer
He invited you to his friend’s rooftop BBQ party. You’ve already been there for a few hours, and you’re having a good time, but it’s getting late, and you have other plans. You mention that you should get going soon, and he comes up with a reason for you to stay.
- “Hey, my friend Sharkeesha is coming by, and I think you’d love her. Just wait a bit!”
- “The sunset from up here is unreal. You should stick around.”
- “I’m getting some Taco Bell delivered via drone in exactly one hour. I know you love bean burritos.”
If he comes up with excuses to keep your time together going, this is a definite way you can tell that your friend likes you.
11. He’ll support you
He takes your side in everything. You vent to him about that bitch at work who stole your carrot cake. You got that promotion at work, but now you’re busier than you expected, and you’re burnt out.
No matter what, he’s there for you, and he listens. He’ll validate your feelings and will let you know how much it sucks!
BONUS: If he offers to “beat that person up,” this is something really flirty that guys will do to indicate their interest. He has no intention of actually beating anyone up, but he’s showing you that he’s willing to take on that role for you if it ever came to it.
12. His pupils dilate
This is one of those universal physical signs of attraction. Look into his eyes next time you guys are talking. If his pupils dilate, it means he likes you.
The eyes are the windows to the soul. They’re also the windows to your butt. I have nothing more to explain here, so this is a short entry on the list.
His pupils will also dilate if he’s high on drugs so make sure to ask him about this, lol.
13. He teases you
Guy flirt with women by teasing them. They won’t be cruel about it. They’ll pick on you and might be a bit “risky” about their jokes, but they’re rarely outright cruel.
Examples of him teasing you (flirting with you):
- “Hey, my grandma has that same shirt.”
- “I see Trader Joe’s is completely out of wine again. You hungover this morning?”
As a guy, I can tell you that it’s tough for men to tease women effectively. All we want to do is compliment you if we find you attractive. But we’ve found, over the millennia, that the quickest way to a woman’s heart is to do the exact OPPOSITE of complimenting you. Again—not being cruel—but being willing to risk offending you to show you that we are aware of the instinct to want to impress you.
We’re using the “power of the counterintuitive.” We’re pushing ourselves to do the opposite of what we feel we should.
So the next time your guy friend teases you, this is a definite sign that he likes you and isn’t just being friendly.
14. He tells you he likes you
Some guys just can’t hold back. They know their attraction is obvious to you, so rather than beating around the bush and rather than hoping you pick up on his attraction signals, he just outright tells you.
- He might not come right out and say, “VANESSA, I LIKE YOU.”
- He might instead say, “VANESSA, WE SHOULD GET DRINKS SOMETIME.”
New TikTok trend: “Tell me you want to date me without telling me you want to date me.”
15. He says idiotic things
Guys will fumble and stumble over their words because they’re nervous around you. YOU do this to them. Guys are so careful of what they say because they want every word to impress you.
So when we’re stammering, it’s because we’re overwhelmed by the sheer amount of attraction we have for your fine self.
You compliment his shirt, and he can’t formulate a normal response. This is a sign that he’s attracted to you.
Test it out on that guy friend that you think has the feels for you and see what happens.
16. He’s always well-groomed
You’ve known this guy for a while, and he hasn’t made much of an impression. One day you notice that he smells rather nice. The next time you see him, you take a deeper look at his outfit—no more wrinkles. In fact, he looks fly as hell.
Why does he suddenly look so good?
Chances are he’s taking better care of himself to look more attractive to you. He’s not doing it for himself. He’s putting the best version of himself out there, like bait, waiting for you to bite. You sexy little fish, you.
17. He makes eye contact with you
When you two are talking, he can’t help but stare into your eyes. I mentioned earlier how if his eyes move down to your chest, that’s a definite sign of attraction. But so is constant eye-contact.
He’s mesmerized by you. Your blue/green/hazel/brown/gray eyes are the keys to the soul. They’re filled with expression and betray our true feelings.
He’s staring into your eyes because he wants a firm grip on you and your soul. (Sounds creepy when I say it that way, but you get it).
18. He listens intently to every word you say
Guys are bad at listening. We tend to only pick up on certain things.
So if you’re telling this guy about this new show you’re watching or recalling your adventures in Paris last year, and he’s making eye contact and is nodding his head, HE’S LISTENING.
And he’ll ask follow-up questions!
- “Oh yeah? How were the macarons at that patisserie?”
- “Did you really give the mime your number, or did you just pretend to?”
- “Do you like long baguettes, or are you okay with…average-sized…baguettes?”
He’s listening. And he’s flirting. Here’s the combo to look out for:
- Eye contact
- Follow up questions
- Flirty responses
Guys don’t listen well, so if he does, he wants to be more than your friend. Get it girl.
19. He looks for opportunities to be alone with you
This next item in the list sounds a bit shady. I guess it could be. BUT, I’m not saying he’s trying to “isolate” you.
Maybe you get up from your desk to get a coffee at work, and he comes up to make one too. It’s just the two of you. You guys shoot the crap, and he goes back to his cubicle.
He’ll look for opportunities to be alone with you so he can again—bask in your glory. He’ll chat you up, flirt with you, all in an attempt to show you he’s interested and that he’d make a good mate.
20. He’ll do anything to make you happy
One of the mating rituals that men perform is to “supply you with things.” The other is to “solve problems for you.” So when you combine these two, he’ll do anything to get you what you need and solve any problem for you.
If a guy is willing to do anything to make you happy, it’s an unmistakable sign that he’s not just being friendly and he has feelings for you.
- He helps you move into your new apartment.
- He buys you that expensive bag you’ve mentioned a few times.
- He’s your shoulder to cry on when bad things happen.
BONUS TIP: If you’re interested in this guy, DO NOT vent to him about other guys. When you do this, you’re signaling to him that he’s just a friend. You’re friend-zoning him. Don’t do this if you’re even slightly interested in pursuing a relationship with your male friend. It’s the kiss of death.
21. He tries convincing you how good of a boyfriend he’d be
If a man constantly tells you how he’d treat you differently and better than other guys in your life, HE LIKES YOU.
In complete defiance of my last point, you decide to go ahead and complain about your ex to this guy. He tells you, “Hey, I’d never do that to you.”
Other examples of him convincing you that he’d be a great boyfriend:
- You’re throwing a party at your apartment, and he notices that your dishwasher isn’t working and offers to fix it.
- He always answers texts quickly after you send them.
- He defends you in front of others.
These actions alone aren’t necessarily signs that he’s attracted. The KEY is if he comments on each of these, letting you know that he’d treat you like a Queen if only you were his.
22. He defends you
Another mating ritual that men perform is to defend those he sees as potential mates. This instinct men have goes back as far as time itself. He’ll stand up for you in front of others if he likes you. He’ll stand by your side and help to fight your battles.
Maybe you have an ex who won’t stop texting you when you’ve asked him to stop multiple times. This new guy will step in.
Men defend women they’re attracted to.
23. He flirts with you
This one might seem obvious, but the truth of the matter is that some men just like to flirt. One way to tell if he’s flirting with you and is actually interested in you more than a friend is if his flirting becomes sexual in nature and is persistent.
A regular guy friend might flirt with you now and then, but a guy friend who wants more will make sure to sneak in some sexual innuendos in his flirting.
24. He remembers every detail
If he remembers all the details of your last conversation, it shows that he wants to soak up everything you say. He’s invested in your life—everything you do he absolutely adores and wants to be involved in your life 100%.
You’re out shopping together for a Father’s Day gift, and you forget what size your dad’s pants are. He remembers. He knows everything about your dad’s waistline (because you told him. Don’t get weird on me).
Him remembering things is him showing you that everything you say is important.
25. He mirrors your body language
Mirroring body language is an unconscious thing we humans do when we’re attracted to someone. It’s also a way to build rapport. This is why recruiters tell interviewees to mirror the body language of the interviewer. The same goes for dating & flirting.
Say you’ve got your arms crossed. He’ll cross his arms. You keep brushing your bottom lip with your finger. He’ll do the same thing.
If he’s unconsciously (or consciously) mirroring your body language, it’s a sign he likes you.
26. He asks you a lot of questions
He asks you many questions, especially follow-up questions to things you’re talking about; it’s because he wants to know everything about you. All the details of your life. This guy LIKES you, and he can’t get enough.
He wants to hear your voice. Even if you’re talking about things that don’t interest him, he doesn’t care. He wants to keep the conversation going with you, so he’ll continue to ask you leading questions, so you don’t stop talking.
27. He wants to be your Hero
Men are hard-wired to rescue you. We want to fix your leaky faucet (sexual innuendo most definitely), find out what that annoying rattle in your engine is, etc. In fact, men want nothing more than to be your hero.
All men have the Hero Instinct. It’s hard-wired into them. And once you learn how to trigger this instinct, you’ll have your pick of any man on the planet.
28. He always texts you first
He’s trying so hard to play it cool (and is failing). He is always the first to text you. Why will a guy text you first? Because you’re on his mind, non-stop.
A guy texting you first a lot isn’t normal “friend” behavior. A friend might leave you on “read,” or not respond to you at all. A friend who has feelings for you will almost always text you first and often.
This is a definite sign that your male friend has feelings for you. He can’t hide it, and it’s cute.
29. He compliments you a lot
Maybe you’ve always had bangs, but he suddenly notices and compliments you. “Dang Felicia, nice bangs!”
You work together, and you killed it in your presentation to the marketing team. “You killed it in there. Maybe you can teach me your tricks.”
Guys will often overdue the compliment thing because they simply can’t control their emotions when infatuated with you.
If he’s complimenting you non-stop then he likes you girl.
30. He doesn’t check his phone when you’re around
Nowadays, we’re all attached to our phones. Even if we’re talking with someone, chances are we have the urge to pull our phone out and check our insta.
If you two are hanging out, and there’s no sign of his phone, it means one thing and one thing only. He only cares about you. His urge to grab his phone and check his texts is non-existent when he’s in your presence.
So keep an eye out for this. Watch your guy friend’s behavior when he’s around you. This will help you determine if a guy is interested in you or just being friendly.
31. He leans in when he talks to you
Body language reveals EVERYTHING about someone and what’s going on inside their mind. When you two are talking, he may lean in a bit closer than usual to “hear” what you’re saying.
He’s attracted to you like a magnet.
This is a subconscious behavior that he has little to no control over. Keep an eye out for it because it’s a definite sign of attraction.
32. He gets jealous
A little jealousy is healthy, but a lot of jealousy is a bad sign. So if your guy friend is acting jealous when you talk about other guys or when other guys show you attention, it’s an obvious indicator that he likes you a lot.
You can test his attraction levels by mentioning how you were “hanging out with one of your guy friends over the weekend.” See if he gets quiet or slightly upset. If he does get upset, it’s an obvious clue that he has feelings for you.
33. You’re his highest priority
How do you know you’re his highest priority? It’s when he drops everything to come and help you.
You call him because you got a flat tire. BOOM–he’s there. You casually mention how you need to go shopping for a new sofa this weekend, and he invites himself to come along (and cancels all his plans).
You’re his highest priority for a couple of reasons:
- He wants to show you that he can be there to help you
- He wants to be in your presence, as often as possible
34. He’s very private about his own love life
There’s no way in hell he’s going to volunteer information about his love life. And when you ask him about it, he brushes it off and says, “What love life?”
Think about it. If you found out that he was dating multiple people, or he had just gotten out of a relationship, it’d push you away. It’s an attraction killer to know that you’re not the only one–or that you’re the second choice.
If he’s attracted to you he’s going to keep his love life, past or present, private.
35. He finds ways to touch you playfully
The last item on this list of how to tell if a guy is interested in you or just being friendly is that he finds reasons and ways to touch you playfully.
He might tickle you. He might lightly punch your arm. Maybe he touches your hair as you guys are talking?
Physical touch is a universal sign of attraction between both genders.
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